Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Maintaining Friendships

Having left school nearly a year ago now, it's been interesting seeing which friends are willing to stay in contact and the people who you thought were your friends seem to vanish in to thin air. Of course, I always expected some people to just fade out of my life as I had experienced this before. I left my secondary school after year 11 to go to sixth form college and this was the first test. As soon as I left, I was inundated with text messages and 'meet up' dates, keeping up with the gossip, going for dinner etc. However, a few months would go by and I wouldn't hear anything from anyone and it dawned on me that, I was the only one that would bother to make an effort and why should I if people did not care on seeing me anymore. So, having had that experience, I was well and truly prepared for my educational career to end for a while and see what my friends would do. My bestest of friends stayed in contact and we go for drinks when we can, have a phone call, a facebook chat or long text conversations - these are people I knew I could rely on and it wouldn't be a one-man effort. However, there are the people who I was best friends with and a conversation would look like this:

Me: Hi, are you free x or z or y?
Them: Yes, totally let's meet on y!
Me: Great, I'll see you then.
Me: Still up for today/tomorrow?
Them: Oh no sorry, I've got plans. Re-schedule?

And that's if I text them to check, sometimes they won't even give me notice! Why make plans with me and then make other plans, am I not the preferred option over this new one that's arisen? The worst thing is having that conversation and then seeing all over their social media 'omg, why say you're my friend if you never want to see me'. GOBSMACKED. I really miss the relationships I have with these people, but you begin to think, ok, maybe these people are just really rubbish at planning or you realise that they were never your friend and they couldn't give a flying fish! As long as you know you've done everything you can to continue this friendship with someone, then that's all you can do. The ball will be in their court and you've done enough. I guess at first I was naive and just assumed everybody would be really good at keeping in contact, but life gets in the way and things happen, people change. I know I'm not the most golden star friend either, I know one of my faults is being really bad at replying to text messages and I'm so busy, it's difficult to fit everything in, but you try and that's how it should work. I love my friends, especially the ones who are willing to make an effort and I miss the friends that I used to have too. Am I rambling or have you guys felt this way too?



  1. Hiii Bella! I can really relate to this since Ive been out of school for a year as well and most of my friends haven't stayed in contact even when I make the effort to schedule something. Anyways I love your blog posts and I hope your doing well. :)

  2. I can totally relate, its been 2 years since I left school and very few of my friends stayed in touch.


  3. I'm so glad your doing these kind of posts.. they really help knowing 'it's not just me' ..
    I love your blog so much, so simplistic and your so honest.. So I nominated you for a blogger award, follow my link for all the details & send me a link to your answers when you've completed it as I'd love to have a read!

  4. After graduating from middle school and entering high school I can confidently say that I've kept in touch with only one of my friends from middle school. Although now being in grade 11 I think it was a good thing. It gave me a chance to start a new chapter in life.



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